You just started a new gig and you absolutely hate it. Well, “hate” may be a strong word, but being disappointed and even a bit remorseful after changing jobs isn’t uncommon, you are not alone. Being miserable 40+ hours a week is no way to live, but before you throw in the towel, there are a few things you can try to turn things around.
What’s wrong?
Number one, you must determine the ultimate reason why your new job sucks. As an IT recruiter of 11 years, I have helped hundreds of candidates change jobs and I learned that most of the disappointment isn’t because of some fundamental mismatch that we accidentally overlooked. Especially today, candidates are not afraid to ask questions in their interviews, employers are way more open about their culture and internet allows for maximum research. The true source of frustration in my experience is simply dealing with change, establishing new trust and — especially for leaders – the power struggle. Yes! It is a catch twenty-two – we get anxious when we get too comfortable because of our desire for growth, but we get quickly frustrated with any growing pains. Here is what I recommend to overcome some of the common challenges with your new job.
Make yourself at home
Keep in mind that as you enter a new social or professional circle its members will test you consciously and subconsciously. You have a small time window to assume your position. Check with your boss and get a clear view of the reporting structure so you can demonstrate regard to those who count and show all others their place with you in the picture. In the modern office environment seniority alone doesn’t mean much, everyone’s standing rests on value added. Therefore dancing around senior staff members who are obnoxiously stepping on your toes is no longer necessary. Feel free to slap around a few folks when they overstep their boundaries and establish a dynamic that you are comfortable with. This alone may not be a solution to your problem with a new job, but at least a step in the right direction.
Take advantage of being a newbie
Look on the bright side – there are great advantages to being new at the workplace. Here they are:
- You bring fresh out-of-the-box perspective that senior players no longer have.
- You can apologize instead of asking for permission, because you just did not know the protocol… Oops!
- Your boss actually hired you instead of inheriting you, so they have a stake in your success (they NEED you to be a great hire)
- You can present your former colleagues’ ideas as your own, since nobody here heard them before.
- Fresh start – They haven’t seen you with one too many cocktails.
Get up to speed at all costs
New beginnings are tough, especially if switching jobs comes with switching industries. You may be lacking a specific technology or industry knowledge and some players may use it to their advantage. Sensing your own weaknesses may add to stress and make you feel vulnerable and that’s enough to make anyone unhappy at work. Don’t let these feelings confuse you, you are a winner and you WILL succeed. Here are some things you can do off hours:
- Dive into online research and self-help literature.
- Search LinkedIn for old contacts in your field and reach out for advice.
- Contact your IT recruiter and hire a high-end specialist in your field to tutor you for a few hours. (yes, it might be pricey, but if it will help you get ahead, the cost will be well justified)
This express approach to obtaining missing knowledge is a temporary necessity that will give you the confidence to speak up in meetings with solid proposals. It will pay dividends by letting you impress your superiors and intimidate the hell out of your new rivals.
Get your boss onboard
Another aspect that can make for an unhappy work environment is friction with your boss. It’s critical to take control of the situation as soon as possible while your relationship with your boss is still forming. Here are some basic guidelines:
- Establish an effective way of communicating with your boss. Ask them of how they prefer to communicate in a number of common situations, such as: when either of you are traveling or anytime off hours or what is considered “urgent”. Always repeat their requests back to them before executing, you don’t know the people yet, and they rarely say what they mean in a corporate setting.
- Be tactful in your approach – always make them feel in control, by leaving the ball in their court. Make sure to end all suggestions with a value proposition. Such as: “I was thinking, if we could do “A” and “B” it will allow us to get that much closer to “C”, like you had in mind.”
- Get on the same page with your boss before making your proposals public, like volunteering to help another team or bringing in a new vendor. Such a courtesy, although you may not need their permission, will help you build trust.
- Don’t miss any bonding opportunities, try to grab a beer with your boss and learn about their goals and challenges. It could be difficult to show real value until you can determine what they consider valuable and focus your efforts in the right direction.
- If you are already sensing tension with your boss, clear the air by meeting in person. If you are not sure, ask what is causing the falling out in your relationship. If you do know what it is, and even if you feel in the right, apologize for any misunderstanding. Try to work through your issues together with a focus on establishing a better way of handling similar situations in the future.
Cheer yourself on
Attitude is the toughest part, but I believe it is one of the most important things. It is natural for a human brain to block out all the negative and frustrating memories. Therefore, if you didn’t hate your old employer with a passion, in your recollections your old job appears as an all-inclusive resort in comparison to this new cluster of issues. It’s easy to slip into so-called “buyer’s remorse” and start feeling sorry for yourself. I would encourage reminding yourself about why you chose to make a move in the first place and snapping out of it! Acknowledge your own victories. Make a list of all your challenges and cross them off your list as you find the courage and strength to overcome them. Celebrate every tiny milestone, because professional changes are tough, but winning will only make you a better player in a big corporate game.
One extra pointer that I (almost) found out the hard way: If you accept a counter-offer, you’re an outcast. It will take months, even years to escape the stigma of “flight-risk”, and for what? A couple of thousand in restricted stock?
I was looking forward to leaving a project manager position at an established marketing company in the loop for a startup in the burbs. The corporate culture seemed stifling, & I wanted to see just how far I could push my career while I was (and thankfully still am) young. And then, the counter offer came … a bump in salary, benefits, & a promise of a better office “once we expand.” Nice, but … enough?
I turned it down.
Fast forward six months & the startup is … solvent, on paper, anyway … but barely just. In the *nick* of time I get an email from a VP at my previous employer mentioning how their new creative director had lost his luster & was on his way out (turns out he’d been phoning it in, he’d been grooming one of his buddies at another firm for months & was ready to jump ship in a matter of weeks) & how he remembered my work for a few “influential” (read: “multi-million dollar”) clients. A couple of phone conversations later & here I sit, the old company is the new-new company. For my troubles I have a new title, dramatically improved salary, & I got to come in as the hero. The best part is that my relationship with my peers & executive team has never been better, & benefits from a new-found clarity that I don’t think I would’ve had without my little hiatus.
I’m not suggesting this is necessarily the norm. As often as not, they’ll never realize what they’ve lost. I guess what I’m saying is … well, boiled down: (1) nothing ventured, nothing gained, (2) perseverance will tend to pay off, and (3) better to return as a hero than remain as the pariah.
Thank you so much for sharing your amazing story, Sharon.
Maria, you make very good points in your article, but it doesn’t cover a scenario if your new gig really does suck. Sometimes you are overly excited to switch jobs that you overlook a few things in the process and three months into your new job you realize that you are miserable. Would you still reinvest yourself like you describe in your article or start looking again? Do you talk to HR at your new job about this?
Thank you, Eugene for bringing up such a valid question. As a recruiter, I know how a choppy resume can hurt your career. Unfortunately, no matter how you spin it, “I quit my job after 3 months” story will set off some red flags in your interviews. I always suggest trying your best to improve the situation and make it last as close as possible to 2 years. Unfortunately its not always possible, and being miserable long-term will end up destroying your career no matter what. Since every situation is unique, let me list most common issues:
1. Your role was misrepresented to you and you realized that your responsibilities have much smaller scope or (or the work you perform is done on a smaller technical scale). That would include things like, new implementations and upgrades that got you you excited in the interview, which ended up being nothing but your boss’s dream.
2. Your company downsized shortly after bringing you on board and now you have to work a ton of unpaid overtime.
3. You are miserable because the environment turned out to be very political or too rigid for your free spirited nature and you cannot be happy in this culture.
With number 1, I recommend leveraging the fact that your boss truly NEEDS you to stay as opposed to having someone quit after 3 months which will look poorly on them. The management will question their judgment in future hiring and/or their leadership skills.
Therefore, your best bet is to meet with them and express your issues in a non-confrontational manner. Without expressing your frustration or threats, you can bring up your issues, packaging them as a career concern and asking them to adjust your responsibilities to include career building aspects. If it is absolutely impossible in a current setting, try to negotiate company sponsored training (like certification classes) and a schedule that would accommodate. Before you approach your boss, assess the situation and come up with a realistic solution that may not be ideal but would make up for the things you are missing.
Start the conversation on a positive note like “You personally have been great, but I pictured my role differently when I accepted this job and I find some aspects of my role disappointing. …” Once you explain what is wrong (be short and to the point), have your solution ready.
As always, try to end on a positive note as well, reinforce that you enjoy working under them and just wanted to be upfront and honest. If during this conversation they promise a future change, push them to commit to a time frame and propose to meet again at that time to discuss.
With number 2, your new employer simply cannot afford to treat you right – they are in trouble. Most likely, they saw it coming and hired you because they saw you were capable of picking up the load after they cut get lean. If you are not learning some extraordinary skills or gaining some exclusive industry experience, start looking. If this is public company these layoffs are not a secret and you should save those articles for years to come as you can use them as evidence in your next interviews, as soon as perspective employer asks what happened in that job.
Well…number 3 is the toughest one to deal with. You cannot change the environment, nor would the real reason why you left so soon, ever sound good. The next employer might view you as “hard to please” and worry that you might quit on them as well. That’s why I would advise on changing your story and saying the reason was financial instability. Employers have no way of confirming it, but this reason is usually viewed as valid.
In conclusion, I suggest that when all else fails and you do decide to leave, do it by posting your resume confidentially and screening employers before rushing to answer their calls. Stay active on Linked In and attend conferences. The minute your employer sees that you might leave, your exit will be on their terms and at their convenience. And what ever you do – stay away from HR.
I hope I answered all your questions, but if you want to talk off line – please feel free call me.
Thank you very much, great answer.
[…] there is no “nice” way to explain “leaving” to the perspective employers (see: When Your New Gig Sucks), and this always raises a red flag. So what seems to be an easy way out is only a beginning of a […]
Sorry, but I didn’t find this useful. I’m 7 weeks in and the reasons I considered NOT taking the job, have reared their ugly head with no sign of positivity in sight. I have literally spent about 3 days a week doing nothing, making up work. Any ideas I have vocalized are not acknowledged as worth a damn. I relocated to No. WI and there are no other jobs. What can I do???
[…] hit, so this jump has to be perfect. As I mentioned before in one of the comments to my article “When Your New Gig Sucks” choppy work history is a big red […]